Sunny Days Sweeping the Old Sesame Street Away

The New York Times recently published an (uncharacteristically interesting) article describing how Sesame Street has changed over the years. No, not to fix the pot holes in the decades old street and to create environmentally sound round-a-bouts, but to correct the model of "wrong behavior" with which the classic Sesame Street invaded our living rooms. Shame on you 1970's and early 80's era Sesame Street!

It must have been all that cookie eating, which obviously is the reason for today's soaring childhood obesity rates. Oh, uh, wait a minute, statistics on that issue say that today's youth obesity rates have tripled since the 1980's after Cookie Monster was gobbling up all those high-calorie snacks. Surely he had switched to singing "C is for Carrot" before America's kids started getting pudgy. And after watching this clip, I'd say the issue isn't that it taught children to eat too many cookies, but rather that they shouldn't eat too many cookies or else the lack of nutrients will make them turn out like Cookie Monster who is so fucking stupid he doesn't know what a library is....



So, maybe it's because Bert and Ernie have turned us all gay. Because it happens that way, you know. Um, yeah, that's likely. More likely is that if Sesame Street had such an impact on how we would grow up, we'd all be sleeping in the same room as our roommate, taking baths with a rubber ducky, and thinking that when we're watching TV there are actually things inside our television set....



This has to be it. Sesame Street taught us to be assholes who send their meals back multiple times at restaurants....



Thank you Sesame Street for getting rid of those old clips that taught us Gen-Xers the wrong values. If it weren't for our parents actually teaching us the right values and manners, we would have had to rely on those values of Cookie Monster, Big Bird, Bert and Ernie, Grover, et. el, like today's youth. I can only assume that you've changed because of the overbearing, hyper-sensitive mommy groups who would rather place the responsibility of parenting their children on the media, entertainment companies, and the government rather than doing it themselves. Because that mentality has certainly helped today's kids do the right thing. Proof is in the headlines, headlines, headlines.